Tiz Update Time Once Again

Lately I've been really homesick. I know that a nice visit back home will be a cure, but I can't afford it. Even if I convinced Mark and Mom to let me and the baby go alone to show her off and what not, it's still at least $500 for a round trip ticket. I am sad. Anywho, here is some more lists.

Things that I've gotten more of since Zoey started sleeping in her room:

• Sleep
• Sex
• Cuddles
• Space (No bassinet)
• Worried...afraid of SIDS.....

What I wanted to do on Mother's Day Vs. What I actually did:

• Go to the Park/Stayed Home
• Have nice uninterrupted dinner at Shari's/Got spit up on at Shari's
• Make Love/Slept

Things that Zoey has accomplished (somewhat) since my last update:

• She stares at a toy and goes after it
• Sometimes she hits said toy
• She has giggled (somewhat) once, in her sleep
• She smiles because she is happy, not because she let a big steamer loose in her diaper
• She has found more heart wrenching ways to cry
• It seems like she realizes when she is going to get what she wants (bottle/diaper) she stops crying and has an "expectant" look on her face

Things that have changed with her:

• Strictly bottle fed
• Switching to ALL cloth diapers
• Going up in a size of clothes

Things that I wish I could do but can't because I don't have a babysitter:

• Have a night just for me and Mark at home
• Go see a movie
• Go visit a bar/club
• Amusement Park (Do they even have those out here???)

Things I want to do as a family when Zoey is old enough:

• Disney World
• Carnivals
• Circuses
• Trips to the Beach

Current Goals:

• Eat Better
• Start Working Out
• Lose Weight
• Start & Finish College
• Mark Gets A Job
• Eventually get a better car
• Start paying own bills

That's just about it for now. I am home sick and I want to go home. I know its better for Zoey here so at least for now I want to stay here, but a visit would be nice.

Motherhood...

Things I love:

• I love seeing my little girl stare back at me
• I love it when she smiles
• I love it when she is asleep and peaceful
• I love it when people tell me how adorable she is
• I love how my husband looks at her, how he holds her and bonds with her
• I love that I have a reason to live a better life
• I love being told how well of a job I am doing taking care of her

Things I hate:

• I hate not being able to get a full night of sleep
• I hate that there are days when no matter what I do she will not sleep in her bed
• I hate having to be extra careful and being worried
• I hate that diapers and formula are expensive
• I hate that I can't do things on a whim anymore
• I hate the sound of a high pitched cry
• I hate not having more time with my husband
• I hate having to stop having sex because the baby starts crying

Things I miss about being pregnant:

• I miss having my belly rubbed by my husband
• I miss the random kisses he gave me, the attention and extra love
• I miss looking forward to the delivery day
• I miss ultrasounds and doctor appointments
• I miss the smiles I would get from random women at grocery stores
• I miss baby shopping
• I miss being asked when I am due or what I am having
• I miss fantasizing about being a mother

Things I look forward to:

• When she calls me mommy
• When she takes her first step
• When she giggles
• When she reaches for me
• Fixing boo boos and uh ohs
• First Christmas, birthday, Halloween, etc.
• Family Vacations
• Hugs
• Kisses
• Family portraits
• A full night of sleep
• Play dates
• Tea Parties
• Dress Up
• Barbies
• Imagination
• Pictures on the fridge
• Mothers Day
• Carnivals
• Stray Pets and Found Posters
• School Projects
• Pig Tails
• Pot and Pan Drum Sets
• Checking for Monsters
• First Pet
• Tooth Fairy
• Hide and seek
• hand picked bouquets
• I love yous

I am exited, scared, happy and sad all at the same time and all for different reasons.

Too Pregnant to Elaborate

These are my life updates as of now:

• I am a gestational diabetic
• I am 32 weeks pregnant
• I am having a GIRL that we plan to name Arizona Raine aka Zoey
• Mark and I have moved into the upstairs duplex with our two cats. Zoey has her own room!
• We've got most of the essentials to bring home baby, all but a travel system, changing pad, diaper pail, changing cover, nursing pads, baby monitor and storage for her room.
• I am doing my online classes even though most of my work gets turned in late with all of the appointments.
• Zoey is in a head down position, we were worried that she was going to stay breech.
• Mark got a job that was seasonal and now the season is over so he is jobless again.
• My cat is currently chasing a fly around the house, she has wounded it.

Things I miss:

• I miss chocolate.
• I miss being able to move and get out of bed on my own.
• I miss walking, all I do now is waddle.
• I miss poptarts.
• I miss sleeping on my stomach.
• I miss being able to get my chores done without help and without going breathless.
• I miss when stairs were not a challenge.
• I miss clothes that fit
• Sometimes I miss smoking
• I miss being a coffee addict
• I miss sex.

Things I am enjoying:

• My bigger breasts
• Mark's bigger breasts
• Feeling my baby move
• Child birth classes
• Having my own place
• Having someone to rub my feet, back, legs, etc.
• Having help around the house
• Having Mark put his hands and head on my belly to feel Zoey.
• My stinky preggo farts that can be used as a weapon, especially with a skirt (Portable dutch oven!)
• Having a reason to eat healthier
• Being a family

Things I am looking forward to:

• The birth of my daughter
• My daughter's first pictures
• Coming home with baby
• Finishing the nursery
• New parents class
• Play dates
• Breastfeeding
• Sending out birth announcements
• Going back to VA to visit
• Having sex!!!
• Being on birth control until we are ready for baby number 2 (this means more SEX!)
• Holding my baby
• Watching Mark hold our baby
• Watching Mark bond with our baby
• Watching Mark change all the diapers...hehehehehe
• My first Mothers Day
• Mark's first Fathers day

As you all can see, life is going by quickly...well for you readers anyway...for me its taking FOREVER! Anyway, I am really exited about having this baby girl. I can't wait to be a mommy!