Today's List

I think that I am pregnant. First, here is a list of the symptoms I'm having to make me think so...

1. I'm a month and 3 weeks late...at the LEAST.
2. My breasts are REALLY REALLY tender...sometimes it hurts when something lightly brushes against them.
3. I've been craving garlic bread and oreos, not at the same time though. Like right now, I want some oreos...later I'll probably want the garlic bread.
4. I've been tired a lot lately, seems like I can never get enough sleep.
5. I've been nauseous a lot lately. Mostly when I first wake up...also after eating skittles...no more skittles for me.
6. Been having mild headaches randomly.
7. I've been having a lot of dreams about being pregnant and having a newborn baby.

Now here's a list of things that's bothering me at the moment:

1. I have to wait til the end of this month to take a piss test to find out. Mom's advice says to wait until then because the good tests are expensive and sometimes stress makes someone miss a period.
2. If I am pregnant, I've been smoking. I don't want to quit because everyone tells me if I am and go cold turkey it could hurt the baby.
3. The place we were looking at renting once we move is a one bedroom, I don't know if we will qualify to live in a two bedroom.
4. I want a girl so badly that I might have a boy. I don't know how to decorate for a boy!
5. I'm afraid my family won't be able to pronounce the names I've picked out. Teagan Raine for a girl and Skyelar Xavier for a boy.
6. I might have gotten my hopes up for nothing, normally when I think I am pregnant I find out that I was just late....though I've never had all these symptoms before...but still, I'm afraid I'll find out that I'm not.
7. I'm afraid that once I move to Oregon I won't have the money to bring the baby back to visit the rest of my family on a regular basis.
8. What if I can't afford to live in a nice neighborhood? I want to live somewhere that my kids can play outside safely, unlike here where there are drug dealers everywhere and a double murder six houses down...
9. What if I am pregnant but don't do everything right and either miscarry or hurt the baby? I wouldn't be able to live with myself then...
10. What if I did get my hopes up for nothing....what if I'm sterile? What if this is one of those false pregnancies where the body make the woman believe she is pregnant? What if I am doomed to never give birth?

So yea...that's basically all my symptoms and worries.

G'nite All!

Another Fucking List

Here's another list of completely and utterly random things that either amuse me, piss me off, or I just happened to think of.

• I like lists. Lists create a sense of order and although I am use to chaos, I prefer order. Especially in writing. Lists are kick-ass.
• I hate lemon flavored candy. I'm sick and tired of having to pick the red and purple Skittles out of the bag and tired of leaving the lemon Starbursts in the bag. Can we please create a bag of flavors that I like? Maybe I can donate the ones I don't like to those kids who are always starving...you know, the ones the fat old guy tells us about on TV? Yea...he should share his cake.
• I think that it should be legal to hit stupid people. Also, there should be some sort of IQ test before someone is allowed to raise a child or have one. If you fail instant hysterectomy or removal of balls. No baby for you!
• The colleges that let anyone in should be free. If they are going to treat you like high school students, you shouldn't have to pay for it...you don't pay for high school. Seriously, some of the people I've seen attend ITT and ECPI make me feel like Einstein.
• Every single woman,once they reach age 40, should be given 10 free starter cats as well as a bucket of water to throw on the neighborhood kids that pass their house. This does not apply to lesbians or divorced women.
• It would be fun to find a stripper that accepts quarters.
• There should be a punch app for phones. If someone is being stupid you should be able to use a punch app and have a giant guy show up where they are and knock them out cold. Maybe when they wake up they will have learned something...or at least feel physical pain for the next day or two.
• Cigarette companies should pay for the cure for cancer. Alcohol companies should buy people new livers. They could think of it as an investment.
• There is an intersection of two streets in Portsmouth, VA. They are called High St and Green St. I often wonder if there are drug dealers at this corner. The irony would be priceless....or the cost of a dime bag....either way, it would be funny as hell.
• I have an over sized lighter. It's pretty cool. I wish I had an over sized pack of cigarettes to go with it.
• I'm bisexual but I don't understand how lesbians can be attracted to bull dykes. Wasn't the point to not have a man? I can't seem to understand that logic.
• There are some songs that I hate with a passion, but for some odd reason when they come on the radio I can't bring myself to change the station. These songs with the evil grip must be stopped!
• I want to dress as the giant K from the K-mart sign and go shopping at Wal-Mart.
• I want to dress like the rollback happy face and shop at K-mart.
• I want to own two Chihuahuas. I want to name the boy Taco and the girl Bell. I've wanted to do this ever since I was 15. I still think it would be fun.
• I tried to sell my father to an antique shop when I was 17. I almost succeeded.
• What if the cure for cancer is something simple and obvious, just overlooked? Like when you lose your keys and after hours of searching find them in your hand.
• Cat's are self cleaning, but I give them baths anyway.
• Someone once made a joke about a blonde who read the instructions on a shampoo bottle that said Lather, Rinse Repeat. They said something about her dying in the shower cause she never left. I find that ridiculous. The shampoo bottle doesn't just refill itself!
• Why is it when I hear miracle stories about men who were diagnosed as sterile that have had a kid with their wife...so I assume the wife is just a whore? These stories were designed to entertain and awe audiences with the miracle of life...but all I see is a 2 cent ho. Guess I'm not too optimistic.
• I find it funny that a bee's natural defense is to sting, and when they sting something they die. A bee died a couple of months ago to sting my forehead. I think it was a lost cause. Maybe he was an amateur suicidal stinger, and no one took the time to tell him it was training and not combat. Eh, Oh well.
• Why can't celebrities that go to foreign countries to adopt babies feed the starving ones on the way? They could consider it an investment when they come back shopping again.

Anyway, that is the end of this random list. I just got really bored and decided to list some stuff. Hopefully anyone reading this will find it amusing....or educational? I don't know.

Goodnight fellow googlers!